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Book Review:
The Fine Art of Small Talk
Denra Fine's self-actualization manual helps us get along better
by overcoming the fear and awkwardness of small talk.
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Reviewed by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy
We’ve all faced that primal fear – walking into a room full of strangers. It may happen at a conference. Or at a church gathering in a new community. Or even meeting the other new soccer parents. We feel somehow naked and vulnerable, unprepared and unarmed. Now there is a secret weapon: The Fine Art of Small Talk by Debra Fine.
Not just for the shy, this how-to manual for becoming a great conversationalist can help almost everyone get more out of conversations, even with people they already know well. Let's face it, the quality of our relationships is in large part based on the quality of our conversations and the extent to which we feel at ease speaking with someone.
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Fine has been delivering her well-honed message in seminars for years, and it shows by how her book is written. It is quite interactive and the text is broken up by useful lists and tips, as well as by entertaining cartoons. Here are a few examples of her lists:
- Conversation starters
- Dealing with eight difficult types of people
- 10 Tips for Tip-Top Listening
- Ways to ask for referrals
- 50 ways to fuel a conversation
- "Interviewing" questions
- Failsafe questions for every business function
- 50 icebreakers
Fine covers all the main topics with simple clarity, including starting up a conversation, keeping it going and exiting gracefully (which is sometimes the greatest challenge). She talks about listening, managing difficult people, conversation topics and basic emotional needs.
If improving your social skills is on your self-actualization wish-list, this is the book for you. Short and concise, this is a go-anywhere book. So just before heading into that conference reception, slip into the washrooms, pull out your copy and get your last-minute briefing from Debra Fine.
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