Make real: “The realization of one’s talents and potentialities, especially considered as a drive or need present in anyone” (Oxford Canadian Dictionary 1998)—in other words, self-actualization.

A self-actualized person is a happy person. The trick is to understand just what makes you happy: that is, to understand what you are and what your talents are, then marry those talents with your interests. When you have combined the two, you have a greater chance of having an exciting, fulfilling life and career.

The path to self-actualization can be short and direct if you know your talents and personality at a young age, but for most of us, the path is actually long and convoluted. For me, the path was indeed a meandering course. Like so many people, in my youth I chose a career that was available, achievable and provided the means for self-support: I became a nurse.

That is not to say that I didn’t enjoy being a nurse. Quite the opposite—my career as a nurse matched one half of my personality—the nurturing, caring, amiable, patient me. However, the other side of myself, the competitive, determined, creative, purposeful me had to be suppressed while working in health care. Gradually, though, the need for self-actualization forced me to evaluate what I was doing and forced me to conclude that part of myself was hiding and ready to emerge.

Denise Hamilton finds the recipe for happiness

Strangely, or not so strangely, I left nursing and partnered in the writing of a cookbook. The nurturing side of me authored not just another cookbook, but a healthy eating/healthy lifestyle book called Fit to Cook—Why “Waist” Time in the Kitchen?: this was helping other people. The determined side of me self-published the book so that it could be done my way: this was helping me. Within two years, I had sold over 250,000 copies of Fit to Cook, learning in the process that the marketing of the book was far more exciting than the writing of the book.

Isn’t it interesting how life presents new opportunities if you just grab on to them when you are ready? All that I learned from being an author to being a publisher to being a marketer launched me into a new venture. By watching other authors in the struggle to find markets for their books, I saw a need and a void. Not every author has a determined, competitive side—some are just too cautious or analytical or complacent or busy. In a “light bulb” moment, I saw their need. This was the inspiration for Ink Tree Ltd., my co-venture in marketing and publicizing books for other authors and self-publishers.

Now, going to work is exciting. Every day is a new challenge that fulfills both sides of me. I can be all of myself—nurturing and caring while at the same time competitive and creative. And what is the end result? Every day I am happy.

As Oprah Winfrey says, “Dream big—dream very big. You are the only person alive who can see your big picture—and even you can’t see it all.”